i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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