yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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