My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
