So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
