it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
