We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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