new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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