weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I understand Curling. That high.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
