I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
