the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
