I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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