theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Found your dick twin last night
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
