i think i have herpe
just one?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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