We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
