Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
