I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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