My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
