I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
