I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
