Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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