I wish I only lived at night.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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