She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
