just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you had me at cake vodka
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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