some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
that is very illegal...i love you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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