New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't think brook has ever known best
well you can't waste a boner
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
