Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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