If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
