You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
