Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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