Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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