My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
