I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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