its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize