Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's shark week go big or go home
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
