i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
