your thong is hanging out like whoa
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
