I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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