it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
