is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
