Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
