she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
