He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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