you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
