Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
