I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
