The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
