No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
