I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
