I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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