1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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