How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
