all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
