OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
my liver is dry heaving
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
